Actress Millie Bobby Brown cosplays as a naughty elf and shows off her bulging mound while promoting her new holiday sex toy “Minx on the Mantle” in the video above.
Thankfully, us pious Muslims were able to once again swoop in and save the day, as we gave Millie the greatest gift any woman can receive: a stiff black wool burka (along with a stern fatwa telling her to wear it at all times or else).
Yes, with Millie’s previous burka being a shoddy, butt-baring fiasco, we knew that she was in desperate need of a halal covering to keep her unruly sex organs under wraps for good.
Now we can all sleep soundly under the stars of the caliphate, secure in the knowledge that next year Millie won’t be flashing her blasphemous bulbous breasts again…
And that her heathen holiday whoring has come to an end behind the impenetrable veil of the holiest garment.